A Testimony of the Father’s Embrace

How was the pandemic for you?

We all witnessed a lot of suffering during that season which was one of the most difficult moments in recent human history. But it was also a time of growth. For me specifically, it was a moment of reflection and spiritual retreat. It was like a painting which features somber, dark colors - precisely the ones which bring the notion of reality and depth to the image.

I’ve always liked art, but I grew up with the impression that there were other more important things to do, especially if you have a missionary calling. But just as any hand-made work is unique, God's calling is specific to each one of us. He will always use what we receive from Him for the sake of His kingdom.

During the pandemic, when we were stuck at home and unable to go out, I took the opportunity to have a retreat with God for the purpose of clarifying my focus and deepening my calling. During that time with Him, I felt God clearly saying that the time had come to take the gift He had given me out of the drawer.  He wanted to help me overcome my insecurities and to give me inspiration and images, coming alongside me as my teacher. I asked Him, “How will painting be my mission?” His response was, "Just start and leave the rest to me."

I never thought it would be so difficult to begin! Internal struggles and lies which had lain petrified in my soul had to be overcome.  I needed to gain a whole new perspective. At the same time, the Lord touched the hearts of friends to begin ordering paintings from me. Each of those paintings was like a school. I began to discover, like someone unearthing a treasure, things that I never imagined I would be able to do. One day, however, one of these orders became a milestone on my journey.  I had no idea what I was about to experience.

A friend asked me to paint a picture for her husband that represented the hug between a father and a son. This image and theme was a key part of his inner healing journey. I accepted the challenge. As I always do before starting this type of project/mission, I prayed and asked God to show me what He sees and to help me bring the message He wanted to reveal. That day I felt all the Father's love for that man and I felt how much that boy's heart was accepted, loved, healed, and covered by the Father.

God downloaded the image of the embrace and all the elements which would make up the painting. But I remember that the Lord warned me: "The entire process will need to be done in an atmosphere of praise". Psalm 22:3 states that God is enthroned in our praises. This word helped me understand that this project would be a battle, and that God had given me my strategy: to paint while listening to praise music. The Lord also directed me to three songs which revealed the essence of the painting and with which He would continue ministering to the heart of that "boy" who longed for the Father's embrace.

And so I started and made the draft. It didn’t take long for the insecurities to start because I knew I didn't have the necessary practice to accomplish what my mind was seeing. I had a lot of struggles within myself.

One day, right at the beginning of this project, we experienced an unusual situation. My husband and I were traveling and our teenage son was home alone. That day he had a big problem at school and really needed us to be with him. But although the painting was just a sketch at that point (only a silhouette of a father hugging a son), our son told us that as he looked at it, he strongly felt the presence of God. The Lord was close, taking care of him! And I thought, “Wow! The framework has barely started and it’s already fulfilling its mission!”

As the process continued, the struggles didn't stop. There was a very strong feeling of incapacity, as if a voice was constantly saying, "This isn't going to work!" Then I would start to listen to worship songs and feel inspired again to continue.

I remember one night I felt profound dissatisfaction with the image in front of me. I didn't like the design, saw millions of defects, and wasn't satisfied with the result. I was blocked and couldn't progress any further. I even started researching what would be the best way to destroy a painting and start it over again. I was really determined to start everything from scratch. But deep down, I didn't feel at peace with this decision.  But I couldn’t continue either. It was then that I prayed and the Lord spoke strongly to me. He said that if I destroyed that work, I would have to redo it on my own, just as Moses had to carve the second version of the tablets of the law. At that moment, I asked, "Father, show me what is happening because I can't paint anymore." And I was even more specific: "If it is your will, reveal it to me through a dream."

I've never been one to have supernatural dreams, but that night, as soon as I fell asleep, I instantly started dreaming. I knew it was different from the others, mainly because I was able to remember all the details later. In that dream, I was with a group of people who were going on an evangelistic mission in town. It was night, and I was leaving a building and walking along the sidewalk of a dark street. A point of light, like a lamppost, followed me wherever I went. I remember being very well dressed and wearing fragrant perfume which blew in the breeze. Further ahead, I noticed a dark corner of a building that was on my right side. I saw something moving in the gloomy shadows. I thought it might be a homeless person who was sleeping there. But as I looked more closely, I saw that it was not a human being at all, but a pale creature that was trying to hide. I was scared when I saw it and immediately asked, "My God, what is that?" That's when I heard a voice which said: "This is the spirit of orphanhood." I remember repeating in my mind, so as not to forget: “spirit of orphanhood”. That's when I thought: This is the answer! Then I woke up.

I don't know how many of you have experienced sleep paralysis. I had only had it once, and at the time it was beautiful, a light inside my room. This time, however, things were very different. When I thought I had already woken up, I saw that I was in my room, although the color of the room was different. I could look at myself, as I lay face up, holding the blanket over me. I looked at my hands below my chin and rays of light came out of them like sparks. When I looked at the foot of the bed, I saw a creature whose height went from the floor to the ceiling. It had red eyes that looked at me but it couldn't touch me. I wanted to shout, "Leave in the name of Jesus!", but I couldn't speak. After great effort, I finally managed to wake up and sat up in bed. I turned on the lamp and I could still feel an evil presence in that room. I began to cry out the name of Jesus, opened the Scriptures, and began to read aloud until all that feeling went away and peace returned to invade the room. At that moment, I realized that God had given me an answer which made perfect sense: the spirit of orphanhood was fighting against the work I was producing. I knew that in the country we live, this demon has historically had great influence.

I had no idea that a simple painting could so bother the spiritual realms, but the Lord showed me that that painting symbolized the work of the Holy Spirit, which is the Spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15). By the grace of Jesus, we are adopted into the family of God, and today we have Him as our Father. And this truth is the light which troubles the darkness. After this experience, my heart was filled with boldness and I continued to paint like someone fighting, using praise as a weapon until the work was finally finished.

To the glory of God, the painting became a blessing to its owner, and since then, it has touched stories and people in deep and special ways.

But what is the Father’s embrace?

More than an act, it is a place. A place of surrender, rest, and safety. A place where comfort is found, and strength and hope are renewed. A place of desire and deep joy where all fears disappear, the fiery darts of the evil one are extinguished and we finally discover our value. A place where we are accepted, loved, and desired. In the Father's embrace, I hear that all my struggles are not in vain. And so, I learn how to direct my life heavenward because it is the Father himself who teaches and leads me.

The Father's embrace is what I eagerly wait to receive, in the cool of the day, when He arrives. It’s where I find my healing and my victory, and where I leave all the weight behind and become free to “go” and fly.

Don’t you also desire this place?

Virginia Carvalho is a Brazilian missionary who has been called by God to be part of a movement to redeem art to reflect His Kingdom and Glory. She is married to Jorge Carvalho and is the mom of two wonderful children, Elisa, 19, and Filipe 17 years old.